Monkey Whizz Review: Does it Really Work?
A lot of people get overly concerned about drug tests! Sure, the consequences can be pretty harsh, but high-quality synthetic urine can help you pass every time. I know, it sounds gross – but it’s better than testing positive on your next test.
In this article, we’re going to take a look at Monkey Whizz and find out if it actually works. By the end, you should have a concrete plan for passing your next drug test.
What In The World Is Fake Pee?
Synthetic pee is a yellowish liquid that’s made up of the usual stuff you find in actual human urine. It’s also designed to look and smell like the real thing, so using it will give a very good chance of passing a drug test with flying colors.
No, you’re not buying human urine that someone else peed in a cup. You’re buying a clean solution produced in a lab.
Generally, if you buy synthetic urine, you won’t just get a packet of yellow liquid. You’ll also get a few accessories that will help you “pass.” In the case of a Monkey Whizz kit from Serious Monkey Bizzness, here’s what you’ll get.
- A 3.5 oz. pouch of synthetic urine
- A sheet of paper with instructions
- A medical-grade elastic belt
- A temperature strip
- A urine tube
- Organic heating pads
Keep in mind that Serious Monkey Bizzness has other packages available aside from the Monkey Whizz. The pee itself is mostly the same; the only difference is the type of kit you receive with each product.
Does This Fake Urine Stuff Really Work For Drug Tests?
To put it simply, yes. But only if you buy the right kind.
There are different types of synthetic urine. For example, companies that produce diapers and incontinence pads usually use fake urine to test their products. Synthetic urine made for this purpose aren’t going to be tested for authenticity, so they don’t have a very complex formula.
Other types of synthetic urine are made for people who are into “golden showers.” Artificial urine that’s made for this purpose is usually free of bacteria, which makes them quite unnatural.
Finally, some people use fake urine to grow urological pathogens for scientific research. They’re produced to have the same chemical makeup as artificial urine, though their smell and appearance don’t matter as much as those that can be used for drug tests.
Okay, So What Should You Buy For a Drug Test?
Urinalysis labs test samples by separating and identifying compounds in the mixture. Specifically, they look for traces of THC, opioids, PCP, cocaine, and amphetamines. But aside from this, they do a validity test to check if your sample has the same chemical makeup and physical properties as actual urine.
How do you know if your artificial urine will pass off as real? Here are some of the qualities you should watch out for when choosing a product to buy for your next drug test.
Realistic Appearance: Testers will check the color to see if it looks natural. It shouldn’t be orangey or greenish, and should not appear dyed.
Bubbling: Most testers will shake your specimen a little to see if it bubbles up like how real pee would. Some synthetic pee manufacturers try to recreate this effect by creating “foamy” liquid, which isn’t ideal or normal at all. It should have “big, clear, and flushable” bubbles and should not have white foam. If your sample doesn’t pass these standards, it will be rejected right off the bat.
Odor: Real urine has odor-producing bacteria that multiplies as soon as it leaves the body. That said, you’d want to buy a synthetic urine product that grows bacteria, unlike the “clean” urine you find in fetish stores.
Creatinine: Typical human urine should contain minimal levels of creatinine (about 0.8mg/DL and 1.0 mg/DL). It’s produced by your body naturally as a byproduct of muscle metabolism. Your kidney usually filters this and passes it out with your urine.
Urea: Urea is a waste product that’s made up of ammonia and other elements from the body, like carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. It’s always present in urine and fake pee that doesn’t contain this substance will not be considered a valid sample.
Uric Acid: Uric acid is produced when your body breaks down cells or digests certain types of food like peas or mushrooms. Typically, pee contains about 250 to 750 milligrams per 24 hours. Most drug testing facilities now test for the presence of this substance to verify the urine sample’s authenticity.
Chemical Markers: Aside from the ones mentioned above, research shows that human urine contains more than 3,000 compounds. That said, you’d want to buy a synthetic product with a complex formula, preferably one that contains other compounds found in typical urine. Clear Choice is one brand that’s known for producing synthetic urine that contains various chemicals you’re likely to find in human pee.
Specific Gravity: Human urine should pass what’s called a “specific gravity test,” which compares its density to the density of water. If your specimen is too concentrated, for example, lab testers can detect an abnormality.
pH Level: The pH level of synthetic urine should fall within normal levels (between 4.0 to 9.0).
Temperature: Urine temperature should stay within 90 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Specimens that are too hot or too cool won’t pass as a valid sample.
You want to look for a product with a consistent and reliable heat source, not something that just relies on an external source like your body or a microwave in order to work. The synthetic pee should also come with a temperature strip to help you make sure you’re passing a realistic specimen during a drug test.
Preparation: Whether or not you choose a premixed or powdered synthetic urine formula, it should be something that’s ready within minutes. You might get called for a drug test any time, so you need something that won’t take an hour or two to prepare.
Updated Formula: Labs that test for illicit substances often update their testing process to catch fake samples. That said, makers of synthetic urine should always be one or two steps ahead of them. Look for brands that often release new versions of their products and promise a better formula than the last version.
Should You Take A Risk With Synthetic Urine?
As long as your artificial urine has the same pure compounds as actual urine, testing companies are not likely to detect it as a fake sample.
Here’s a story from Vox which shows how a woman smuggled fake urine in a drug testing facility and used it to pass a drug test. Like several others before her, she got away with this because “current laboratory methods to detect specimen validity often fail to detect these products.” An owner of a testing lab even demonstrated how synthetic urine can pass undetected.
So, synthetic urine can be used for your next drug test, as long as you buy from a trusted manufacturer, get a highly rated product, and keep it at the right temperature. You can check the physical and chemical attributes of your artificial urine based on the characteristics mentioned above, to see if it’s a suitable choice for your next drug test.
Checking the product’s success rate online is also the key. Make sure you’re getting updated results, as some products that were previously successful can drop in popularity over time.
Monkey Whizz Review: Is It Safe To Use Monkey Whizz?
Once you dive into the wonderful world of synthetic urine, you’ll see that you have quite a few options. So, does Monkey Whizz work better than its competitors? Here are the pros and cons.
What’s Good About Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine?
Monkey Whizz comes ready-to-use: Since it’s premixed, you don’t need to be a chemist to learn how to use Monkey Whizz. Other fake pee products would require you to mix the sample yourself, which leaves room for error. I like that this is a grab-and-go product.
You can use monkey whizz while supervised: Since it comes with a belt, Monkey Whizz can be “emptied” into a cup in a way that makes you look like you’re peeing.
Monkey Whizz contains zero preservatives: Other synthetic urine manufacturers put biocides to increase the shelf life of fake urine. Unfortunately, though, some labs test for this substance to help them see if you’ve submitted an artificial specimen. Monkey Whizz doesn’t contain biocides, so there’s less chance that it’ll be seen as fake.
Delivery time: It only takes about a day or two after ordering for you to get your Monkey Whizz package ready.
Discretion: Finally, Monkey Whizz comes in a discreet package. The product also leaves no obvious trail on your credit card billing statement.
What’s Bad About Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine?
Monkey Whizz has a similar chemical composition as real pee – it comes with creatinine, uric acid, urea, and all the other essentials. However, labs that do rigorous testing of Monkey Whizz will likely flag the specimen as fake! For my money, I wouldn’t gamble with something like Monkey Whizz, I’d go for something like Clear Choice Sub-Solution or maybe even Quick Fix 6.2.
Temperature: Monkey Whizz synthetic urine relies on an organic heat pad to get it to the right temperature, while other brands like Clear Choice have a more reliable heat activator. The heating pad isn’t easy to control and relies mostly on timing. It also adds to the number of things you have to bring to the drug testing facility.
Appearance and smell: Some testers are so good at what they do that they can tell if pee is real or fake by its smell and color. Others even notice bogus pee by observing how it bubbles when shaken.
Compared to other synthetic urine brands on the market, I’ve found that Serious Monkey Bizzness’ Monkey Whizz smells a little funky and unnatural. Look, I’m not a professional urine sniffer, but I know how pee smells, and this one’s a little off. The color is also a little too yellow, as if it were dyed.
Unchanged formula: Monkey Whizz is quite proud of their artificial urine formula. They’ve spent years trying to get the liquid to pass as real. But, unlike Clear Choice, they don’t update the formula every year to make sure it can keep up with rigorous testing standards.
Get Your Hands On The Legit Stuff: Where To Buy Artificial Urine For Drug Tests
You can’t just search “where to buy Monkey Whizz near me” on the Internet and think you’re good to go.
A lot of the fake urine you see on Amazon or eBay are either near their expiration date or are knockoffs. You don’t want to submit a specimen that will have the testers shaking their heads.
Get the legit stuff by ordering artificial urine from the manufacturer’s website. This goes for any brand you’re willing to try.
Final Thoughts: Should You Take A Gamble With Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine?
Taking a drug test shouldn’t be a reason for you to lose your cool. As long as you have the right fake urine product handy, you should be fine.
As I’ve said in my Monkey Whizz review, I think this product is good enough to pass basic drug tests, but it comes with a few crucial flaws.
If you get unlucky and end up in a very stringent drug testing facility, your Monkey Whizz might not make the cut. Its smell and appearance are a little inconsistent. People who aren’t too careful may also end up wearing the urine belt too loose and spill it everywhere.
Since you don’t want to be too stingy when it comes to artificial urine, I’d rather you go for a tried-and-tested product like Clear Choice Sub–Solution. It’s my go-to synthetic urine brand because of its flawless track record and near-perfect smell and appearance. It also contains a lot more chemicals than just urea and uric acid. You can check a review online to see what I mean.
All in all, you want to narrow your options to those with a very high success rate. If something’s a little off about your artificial urine, you have a very good chance of getting busted. So, to put your mind at ease, buy the best on the market.